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I'll give you the Sun

A leap of faith.

Daydream.

It’s a room full of glass. Everywhere I turn its figments of my image distorted making me feel so small surrounded by all these shards so foreign yet so familiar all at once. With the adding fear and simply the feeling of being lost I turn myself as I hear footsteps from somewhere in the dark. The little light that glinted from the moonlight cast a rather monster-like figure. I backtracked as adrenaline was coursing furiously through me. As the figure formed and showed its real figure under the opening dome above me I couldn’t hide my puzzled look as my mind was effortlessly trying to search through all my memories who was this person with big round eyes. It looked almost like it held an ocean within those cages. Slightly dilated pupils were no longer black it showed a high resemblance to the greying moon shadowed by puffy clouds.

I didn’t realise the fond smile that was forming on my lips. The feeling of belonging. The feeling of being home. The feeling of knowing is now replaced by uprising uncertainty. I couldn’t help myself but start pacing to the silhouette I’m  accustomed to and before I could register what I was doing my feet were hardly touching the ground beneath me as I sprinted to a full on run like my life depended on it. My lungs grasped for air begging for more as I hardly could keep my legs to support me. Out of breath it felt good; the thrill from each burning limb, the feeling of my failing lungs. I looked up to my world, my everything only to find fear and apathy running like wildfire in those eyes just as I hear an unmistakable sound of the trigger being pulled. Blurring my focus on him was as much easier with my thoughts now thinking what is going on. His eyes motioned to his left shoulder.

I lunged forward pushing him and as miraculous as it sound making him fall just as the shots flew past. Out of instinct I pulled out my revolver from my waistband without even thinking twice if it would be there and triggered it. Adrenaline is undeniably in love with me I guess as once again it was kicking all over my system. Dropping all my senses by my side nervous was astray and to my surprise I was glad. I was running out of time hence no aiming I started firing. Hands trembling my body shook with all the bullets flying and I can’t deny that all I wished was to come out alive. Despite the tense situation I felt invincible as I knew by my feet he was there ready to fire wait he was already firing. I mentally scolded myself for the smug smile that was spread all over my face. On all fours he had both arms gripping to the trigger biceps flexed tight on his pale white shirt.

I triumphed when my vision narrowed to the substance in the darkness was not any less than how clear a coy would be in a pond. My hyper-focused blocked out the danger even as I felt I pang through my scapula, I shot the shadow right through its temples just like back in training camp. The silence once took over as I fell to my feet pooled in none other than my own blood. Pain was still absent as all that was racing in me was victory. I just saved my own life wait what about him? Is he okay? Where is he? How is he? Is he shot? God forbid I thought just as I closed my eyes looking at the sky or was it the ocean or was it him?

“I’m sorry. Don’t leave…” was all I could muster just as my vision turned jet black.

Opening my eyes, I desperately tried getting up as I was greeted with a glass ceiling too similar to the one I was in before. I fall back to the pillow seeing that someone was beside me. I dared not to turn for fear that my arm might actually fall out. I let out a grunt as I could not bear the pain anymore. Looking closer to at my reflection my torso was exposed just covered by a bandage. Figuring that I might have got shot there too I just took a moment to replay everything that seemed like a nightmare but the pain reminded me it wasn’t. The warm arm around me told me I was safe and protected. Nothing could harm me as the peaceful rhythm synced with mine just made me somehow I know that I would never be alone.

I recalled that my shoulder blade was shot from the back but the two figures were right in front my eyes and logically teleporting was insane so how in the world did I receive a fairly painful reminder at my back. Eyelashes fluttered by my side slightly ticking my and I hardly remember the joy and the pain simultaneously felt by resisting my laughter. I turned to the familiar raspy voice with just a slight hint of playfulness. I missed this smile god knows how did I missed this idiotic smile of his when he was vulnerable, mask and guard left by the foot of the bed. I winced when he tried to touch my cheeks. What could be the worst case scenario thought everyone? I’d say it would be a gun shot; two-on two old school just with bullets that causes way much pain than any sword would. In addition to shards of fibre thin glass spitting out everywhere merciless of the aftermath.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart I know it hurts like hell” he whispered hardly audible.

Thinking that it was the scratches at my cheeks I replied “No its nothing. I have had worse days”.

“Come on stop lying. What could be worse than getting shot not once but twice and wasn’t even from a legit threat” nervousness clearly plastered all over him.

Wait what did he just say? I got to get back my focusing skills pronto I really do. I can’t unsee the fact that I missed two shots before he shot the figure for me.

My eyes almost came out of my sockets at the realisation that the scar that will be permanently on my back like a tattoo will always be the most memorable of all scars. A scar by him. A mistake that I have already have no grudge against. If it was him I am okay with it I would literally take a bullet for him even if he was the one holding the trigger and in this case it was indeed him who fired. I tried to keep a straight face and I stifled a laugh. How could he even and I wasn’t even mad. I couldn’t stop myself and burst into a fit of laughter.

“Did you get what I mean love, I shot you. I freaking shot you. Why in the world are you laughing and smiling like an idiot. I did not tell you a joke.”

I got what he said the first time he said it even though it was indirect what he didn’t know that I was hysterically was no one could be half as perfect and imperfect at the same time.

“Noah how could I be mad. You gave me something painful yes but it lasts forever and I don’t think I can ever get over the fact that you shot me. You know that I would do anything for you right. I would give you the sun, the moon, the stars and the whole freaking universe but you deserve more than that. I’ll give you the credit for an inaccurate shot that kept me alive though. This is almost as funny as the time when you ran and yes I caught you crying because of that big green bug. Okay okay stop giving me that look it wasn’t funny. okay? Maybe a little. Now we are even, though that makes no sense but yeah” I said without even trying to contain my bubbliness. He just gave me a knowing smile smug and mischievous. I knew him better than to know that a tickle war awaits and I had nowhere to run. For a figment of a millisecond everything was perfect even when my was world was crumbling right in front of me I knew he would be there to pick me up and hold on tight as though that was all that mattered.

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Us.

Everyone had their eyes on her. Maybe it was because everyone was already expecting her to come. Still it was a huge deal for a new kid in a school like this in a town like this. She came in hardly making eye contact with anyone for the teacher in front was clearly annoyed by someone disrupting his class but then it was none of her fault. However I didn’t bring my eyes to her for I already knew of her and all her causalities or so I thought.

It was just a scorching hot day no different than any other here but almost everyone in my class was already talking about the new kid. After the girl settled in at the back of the class some distant whisper of introducing could be heard. Being directly in front of the teacher I chose to ignore it and focused on what actually mattered and at that point I was sure as hell it wasn’t about some new kid. As usual all the fuss subsided and it was like she didn’t even exist.

That was what I thought until the teacher left and what a lucky day the teacher after was absent leaving us to be alone. That was when things just literally went wild. It was like ants finding a pot full of sugary sweetness. All were around her bombarding her with the same old questions which I’m sure they’ll forget the answers in minutes. I was just going on with my normal routine chatting on lifelessly with my long lost childhood friend whom now is also my deskmate.

“Why don’t you go talk to her.”

I asked myself why wouldn’t I. There’s nothing wrong now I’m sure but what if I seem too interested like every other soul in this class. But still a part of me wanted to know what was she like. Is she even anything close to what have I been told. What if it was all just some normal high school gossip that people usually spread. But I’ve known her for years why would she tell me lies about a kid I hardly knew.

Pushing every single thought people have infused my brain with, I headed to the back of the little bit too tiny classroom that occupied 30 of us. Casually I leaned on her table attempting to start a small talk. My mind was giving me warning signals to retreat but it was like my feet were glued. Red signals that clearly said it was a bad idea but that’s the thing about me I don’t use what my brain orders me to do.

Being the lame kid that I was I told her about homework out of all the things normal people could start a conversation with I chose to be a nerd telling her about things that didn’t matter and I for one don’t even finish them. Realising it was a wrong move I chose to restart with something more normal but I think I might have come out as a creepy stalker asking about her whole history. Then again she’s just agreeing to whatever I say without actually using words. I didn’t even introduce myself. God what was I thinking. This explains her confused look. But she was just too polite to tell me out. Now my mind was divided by who she really is and what I was told. I shouldn’t have been foolish to actually believe people. Now actually giving it a shot I attempted to get to know her but before things could go any further the teacher came in diminishing all my intentions.

Giving her a small smile I left her. She actually did smile back. It seemed like nothing but gosh she’s cute when she smiles showing off her slightly crooked teeth. If only then I knew I would be this attached to someone I didn’t even have an intention to be more than just classmates. Things change I guess and we can’t change fate. I wouldn’t say that I regret destiny brought me to the back of the class when she was still busily fidgeting with her books and arranging her stuff to get organized and she really loves doing that. If she only knew how much I would give up just to relive this day. She was just there mindlessly yet playfully playing with the strings at her purple file that was far too big for her tiny hands and her edgy fingernails indicating that she bites her nails. She didn’t need to know how imperfectly perfect she was but I saw it there and then back when I saw her.

Within months we were closer than ever and honestly I keep wondering till today how was that even possible. Was that all just a dream? She was calling me her darling before you know it. People was starting to get jealous over us and being the identical fit of each other we had to make it more obvious as we found joy in that. Fights make a relationship stronger as she’ll always tell me and I can’t tell you enough of how many of those I have had. It could last me a few life times. We bickered around for almost the smallest of the smallest things. And every time that happened I’ll keep worrying that this is it she’s going to leave me for real this time yet she proves me wrong. She makes me feel special even through arguments cause she ain’t the type that cares of what others think of her and us fighting makes me feel different from others in her eyes. There is literally nothing that I can’t love about her from the way she ties her hair to how peaceful her face looks when she’s asleep.

She doesn’t know how much she means to me till today. But I can say this that when both of us had our first conversation back there neither of us thought that we’ll complete each other in almost every way. All my favourite conversations are all with her and she wouldn’t even know it. I might be her one but she’s my only one. I found home in her arms and I knew what it was to be loved. All this long it was just me thinking of when I should leave permanently. She became a reason for me to keep moving forward and never give up. She doesn’t know how much she’s help make my life much better I just wish that I can repay her but what she’s done for me can never be repaid. I would never change the new kid entering my class on that day with that ridiculous timid smile on her face for anything in the world. I would choose to relive the awkwardness on any other day as long as she stays. The world is finally turning around for the better. This is my story where it all began.

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